I thought if I saved up for the mansion in Calabasas I would get into the Locked area next to it. No it does not give you special privileges to go in there. Idk how else you do?

I have a gf I shouldn’t be getting scary dreams ;(

googlebus:

jokes like this are so gross

googlebus:

jokes like this are so gross

(Source: grandmafupa)

wailtothethief:

Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.

jasonttodd:

callmekitto:

crackiswhacksherlock:

moriarty:

jashuwa:

moriarty:

what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt

Wait there are toilets like that?

image

what an incredible experience it must be

im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt

stunningpicture:

Pulled a layer of ice off a leaf

stunningpicture:

Pulled a layer of ice off a leaf

xekstrin:

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

the old razzle dazzle

xekstrin:

lowwbloods:

officialwillowpape:

i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret it

these boots are made for walkin

the old razzle dazzle

jaclcfrost:

why try to have a conversation using the tumblr messaging system when you can just write a message, put it in a bottle, and toss it in the fucking ocean where it’s more likely to find its way to the person

darecrow:

darecrow:

are you guys okay

I didn’t mean for this to get this many notes I’m just genuinely concerned for these people

darecrow:

darecrow:

are you guys okay

I didn’t mean for this to get this many notes I’m just genuinely concerned for these people

angle-of-depression:

nothingcorporate:

opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s

(Source: uncooler)